The Lustful Potter
by Aussie-chick-433
Summary: A look inside an entry to Draco Malfoy's diary, Funny, Queer, but also... interesting in a twiseted sort of way
1. Default Chapter

Before you read this please take it in that I am not mentally deranged and ye I do NOT like the Gryffindor's  
  
My friends said I needed therapy after I wrote this. But I don't know. I think I'm perfectly sane. I just happen to have... a very unique... yes that's the word... a very unique sense of humour, please bear with me as you read this I was in a very funny mood the day I wrote this and I thought what a better way than to make fun of Harry Potter.  
  
The room was candlelit, with red silk sheets and a four poster bed, big enough for two. On the bed is... SNAPE...? Oh well, and he slides his white waxy hand up and over his sparkly revealing robe... as he makes suggestive wiggling of his eyebrows and curls his finger "Come here little boy, I don't bite... HARD." Must resist but... can't and slowly moves closer to the bed where the scent of a centuries dust mixed with Snapes forever stale body odour tantalises the boy's senses. Snape dips his finger into the pot of a purple potion that had the scent of perfume that reminded the boy of Professor Trelawney's attic room and slowly and (what he thinks is) lusciously, runs his tongue over and around his purple covered finger as he lifts his sparkly robes up to mid thigh and reveals his... hairy and not very sexy at all pale and clammy looking legs with a pale pink garter entangled with Snapes leg hairs. As Snape makes these little movements his little mate starts to stir... and he moves around the bed making little contempt cat noises and eye's off the male student standing in front of him, "sit down on the bed boy, or I will fail you in potion's for the rest of your years at Hogwarts" Snape laughed "now what does little Potter deserve" Snape said to himself as he made his way off the bed and over to the closet, maybe a whip he said opening the doors to reveal such instruments of arousal Harry had never heard of. "But first" said Snape "The handcuff's to prevent your escape" Snape handcuffed Harry to the bed...  
  
"POTTER.... WAKE UP!" Snape bellowed looming over him. "What is this falling asleep in MY class?" Harry looks up to see Ron and Hermione looking at him, and Malfoy smirking from the other side of the room and Crabbe and Goyle guffawing. "I'm sorry sir" Harry started to explain I had a late night sir finishing the essay you asked us to do sir" Snape looked foreboding "I do not want to hear your feeble excuses, maybe a weeks worth of detention will sort you out hmm?" Malfoy sniggered as Harry looked back at Snape, "my office potter tonight and don't be late, by the way Potter your essay" Snape walked off and left Harry to look down at his essay where there was a big spiky black "D" in the corner. All day Harry had class with the Slytherin's next they had Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall as they walked up the stairs to the classroom, Malfoy strode past with Crabbe and Goyle. "What were doing Potter?" Malfoy sneered "Dreaming of your next D aye Potter?" Malfoy strode off into the classroom with Crabbe and Goyle following and guffawing all the way. "Harry" said Hermione "What were you dreaming about? When you woke up you looked like you were facing death when you saw Snape looming over you" Ron looked at her "Well who wouldn't be Hermione, it's Snape come on... but I got to admit mate" Ron said turning back to face Harry "you looked livid enough to shit your pants" Harry looked at Ron still pale faced from being awoken by Snape and replied "I think I did!"  
  
They walked into the classroom as McGonagall entered she whispered to Harry I think you ought to go change your robes Potter you're a little on the nose there. Harry came back to class after putting a new pair of robes but the thought of Snape in that sparkly nightgown still lingered in Harry's thoughts. Harry couldn't concentrate at all in Transfiguration what with Malfoy turning to snigger at him at random times in class and Ron still questioning him about his dream. Harry finally gave up and told Ron. Well as naturally as you could guess Ron looked disgusted and moved his chair a couple of inches away from Harry's.  
  
Hermione looked at Harry and said to him "it's a good thing Snape stopped teaching you occlumency" Harry looked off into space and saw Snapes face in what would look an expression of what Harry thought he would pull if he saw that, but all Harry saw was Snape in that horrible, horrible night gown again. The day had ended and Harry was still shaken by the dream, and Ron couldn't look him in the eye.  
  
The day ended and Harry walked dismally down to the great hall, and not really having an appetite at all ate very little. Harry got up and said goodbye to Ron and Hermione and walked off towards the dungeons towards Snape's office. As Harry walked down to the dungeon's he was wondering to himself "why did I have that dream?" and "I can't believe it happened". When Harry reached the door to Snape's office looked at it took a deep breathe and knocked "Come in Potter" Snape called from behind the closed door "you're late" Harry entered and walked into the centre of the room, Harry had been in Snape's office on other occasions especially in his fifth year when Snape was teaching Harry Occlumency against the dark lord Voldemort.  
  
The walls of Snape's office were covered in jars with dark slimy things suspended in green oozing liquid. "Sit, Potter" Snape sneered as a chair appeared out of thin air Harry sat down it was not comfortable at all. "Now Potter" Snape began walking back and forth in front of Harry, "are you going to tell me what you dreamt about or am I going to have to beat it out of you?" Harry gulped as Snape always meant what he said and Harry quickly thought up something believable.  
  
"Quidditch" Snape looked at Harry in a disbelieving way "Quidditch, Potter? Then why were you moaning like a dog on heat?" Harry looked at Snape and then thought up something else "I was dreaming that Gryffindor were playing Slytherin sir" Harry said quickly "and Slytherin were in the lead" As Snape knew legilimency (like mind reading can be found in the fifth Harry Potter book the Order of the Phoenix, please read it, excellent book) he knew that Harry was lying to him "either you tell me the truth now Potter or I'll have to do it the hard way" Harry was trying to think of something else "quick Harry think" time was running out and  
  
Snape was raising his wand ever higher. Harry closed his eyes and thought. "Block him out; block him out, BLOCK HIM OUT!" Snape incantated "Legilimens" and Harry Shouted "NO!" mentally that blocked Snape from viewing anything, except for Harry skipping through a field of daffodil's while holding onto Ron's hand. Harry came out of it down on all four's panting. Harry looked up at Snape and had a little smirk in the corner of his mouth, "something you want to tell me Potter?" Snape said, Harry stood up and brushed off his robes, "No sir" Harry said. Snape eyed him down and Harry got the same jolt of excitement as he did from when he was in that dream about Snape and him.  
  
Snape's smirk faded and was replaced with his same characteristic sneer that made him so loveable. "I want an essay handed into me on two rolls of parchment, to why you found it so necessary as to fall asleep in my class Potter handed in our next class" Snape asked. Harry looked back defiantly back at Snape and said "yes, sir" "You can leave now Potter" Snape said and turned back to his desk. Harry would've liked nothing more than to curse Snape right then and there, but thought against it and turned and strode out of the class on the way back up the stairs Harry bumped into Malfoy. "Watch where your going Potter, It seems you need your glasses checked you can't even see 5 feet in front of you. You can't even keep your eyes open in class as a matter of fact" Harry glared back "Shut up Malfoy" Malfoy sneered "I would if I wanted to Potter but I just like to see you squirm under pressure" and with that Malfoy sneered and walked away. Harry turned around and called after Malfoy "I always knew you were Snape's lap dog." Harry heard the cold voice of Professor Snape call out of the shadows as Malfoy's smirk widened so much that his eyes were reduced to slits "another nights detention I think Potter"  
  
Harry turned and stormed off he was so angry that he didn't realise where he was until the fat lady said "password" Harry replied in an "can I just go to bed" whining voice (that he uses ALL the time even when he's in a good mood) "Butter beer" in a depressed tone. But the fat lady didn't open and Harry looked up at her she said to him "until you can say it in a happy tone I won't let you in" Harry held back the urge to rant and rave at her, took a deep breath and managed a believable smile and said in a sweetly sarcastic tone "Butter beer" the fat lady looked down at him and said, "Well if that's the best you can do" and she swung back to admit him.  
  
Harry stomped through the portrait hole and he didn't look at Ron or Hermione as they asked what happened he just went storming up the dormitory stairs climbed into bed pulled the hangings shut and pretended to be asleep. Ron walked in "Harry you alright mate." But Harry didn't answer he didn't want to talk to anyone least of all Ron. Ron turned and walked out of the dormitory and Harry turned over in his bed the moon filtering through the hanging's of Harry's four poster bed.  
  
The sunlight filtered through the hangings of Harry's bed and woke him up. Harry didn't know when he fell asleep, and he knew he had had a troubled sleep as his sheets were tangled all around him. Harry untangled himself and got out of bed. He looked over and saw Ron looking back at him. Ron only had three words to say, "You dirty bastard." Ron got out of bed not even looking at Harry making sure that his back passage was kept well clear of him and dressed all the while making sure that Harry wasn't watching then walking out of the room as fast as he could. Harry wondered what that was all about until he realised that Seamus, Dean and Neville were looking at him in a disgusted manner. Harry dressed and walked out of the dormitory down the stairs and into the common room.  
  
Harry saw that Ron wasn't there and headed for the portrait hole he stepped out even the fat lady seemed to be giving him a filthy look and he didn't know why. Harry walked down the stairs to the great hall, where he found that Ron was sitting there congregating with a few of the Ravenclaw sixth years including Cho Chang with whom Harry used to like. One of the Ravenclaw's looked up and they all spread away a few of them looking at Harry like he had some kind of disease.  
  
Harry sat down next to Ron, and Ron moved away. Harry moved closer to Ron, Ron just kept on sliding along the bench til he got to the edge where he slipped off and fell to the floor. Harry went to help Ron up, but Ron said "keep away from me you twisted freak!" Ron got up and ran from the great hall Harry looked around and saw that people were looking at him in the same way that Ron did a disgusted and horrified look. Harry got out the marauders map and muttered "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good" Writing began to show up on the page but it wasn't the map. It began writing "Moony, says that Harry Potter is a sick child and wonders if he was born with a brain deficiency. Prongs agrees with Moony and wishes for Harry Potter to get some help and to keep his dirty hands off the Marauders map, Padfoot also wishes to say that Harry Potter is a whinging little bastard and that he should shut his mouth for once and quit complaining about everyone and everything around him and that Harry Potter is a git, Wormtail agrees with Padfoot and also wishes to say that Harry Potter should check himself into St Mungo's and have a look to see if everything is alright upstairs."  
  
Harry had enough and stuffed the map back into his robes so that they couldn't make more cracks at him and set off to find Hermione, He thought he would check the library first (well duh where else would you find the little freak) Harry entered the library and saw Hermione's bushy head ducking in and out of the shelves. Hermione came into view, but when she saw Harry she turned on her heel and ran oddly in the other direction, while carrying a large pile of books it obscured her vision and she ran straight into the wall and knocked herself unconscious (stupid mudblood what a dumbass) Harry rushed over to her "Hermione, Hermione, are you alright? Answer me" Hermione opened her eyes and she had a dazed look and started going on about Defence against the Dark Arts "Vampire... nocturnal... garlic... lots... garlic... resulting... bad breath" and slumped back to the floor. At that moment Malfoy strode into the library. "What's the filthy little mudblood doing Potter. Is she showing off a new type of throw rug?" Harry scowled at Malfoy and started shouting at him "YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT MALFOY I'LL CURSE YOU RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!" Harry pulled out his wand pointed it at Malfoy "PETRIFICUS TOTA- "but before Harry could finish his curse Professor McGonagall stepped in "EXPELLIARMUS" Harry's wand flew out of his hand and hit Hermione in the head when she had just started to get up, it knocked her out again. "What's this Potter attacking unarmed students in the library I have every right to expel you" Harry looked at McGonagall and then at Malfoy who was trying not to laugh and who's smirk was so vast now it almost looked like a smile (heaven forbid) Harry moved from one foot to the other whining again in his annoying voice "but professor be reasonable he-"McGonagall gave him a penetrating look that said "shut up Potter" Harry looked down at his feet "detention Potter" said Professor McGonagall "tonight" Harry looked up sharply that his neck cricked and he rubbed it. "But I have another detention with Professor Snape tonight" McGonagall raised an eyebrow "What did you score another detention for?" Harry looked down again "I called Draco Malfoy Professor Snape's lap dog miss"  
  
McGonagall looked towards Malfoy, and Malfoy mind you being the genius that he is at getting things to turn his way looked like the victim of a crime and being able to manipulate people in to doing things his way with a twinkle of his eye or the turn of a cheek, made his eye's glisten with tears (but mind you they are not the tears of a victim but the tears of someone who had just seen something extraordinarily funny.) McGonagall looked back at Potter, "O.K then Potter you can't have detention with me tonight, then tomorrow for the rest of the week, go it?" Harry looked down again "yes miss" McGonagall strode out again "Oh and I think a month's ban from Quidditch is appropriate too" Malfoy couldn't help himself when he heard this he laughed to his hearts content and strolled out of the library with tears streaming down his cheeks. Harry decided that if he couldn't find Ron he would go back to Gryffindor tower and do his charms homework. Harry walked up to his dormitory, grabbed his charms book and then stepped back down to the common room.  
  
Back in the Great Hall Ron was sitting with Dean and Seamus talking about Harry, "He's a dirty bastard dreaming of Snape like that, do you have any idea what Snape would do to him if he found out?" They didn't want to think but they also thought that Harry was one sick puppy. Dean interjected "I really think that Harry should get checked out by Madam Pomfrey!" Seamus nodded towards that and added "he should get his twiddle Dee peep potatoes checked out" Neville walked over to them "hey guys whats up-" Neville tripped over a chair and went smack into the floor but no one got up to help him. "Yeah so anyway..." Ron was saying "I think that we should definitely do something for him, I mean if he's dreaming about Snape today, think of who it will be tomorrow?" They looked at each other then Dean and Seamus looked towards Ron. "What?" Ron asked as if being accused of something "Well you're his best mate aren't ya Ron!" Seamus began. Well if he's dreaming of the person he hates most think of the person he likes most" Ron looked horrified and looked at the door expecting Harry to come through and claim him.  
  
Back in the Gryffindor Harry was sitting at the table doing his homework, when he heard the portrait hole open and saw a bunch of red hair come through the hole, but it wasn't Ron but his little sister Ginny. Harry remembered when Ginny had liked Harry (God I wonder what made her that delirious, PFFT EXCUSE ME WHINGING LITTLE BASTARD, Oh wait... well I guess birds of a feather flock together).  
  
"Ginny you seen Ron?" Harry asked Ginny, Ginny shook her head and she couldn't meet Harry's eye's and she started for the girls dormitory's, but Harry caught her arm before she reached the stairwell "something's happening why doesn't anyone tell me whats going on?" Ginny couldn't escape now but she twisted her arm out of Harry's grip. "O.K, O.K I'll tell you" Ginny took a deep breath and told Harry everything, about how the whole school except the teachers. How all the Ravenclaw's, Hufflepuff's, Slytherin's and the rest of the Gryffindor's knew about Harry's dream. Harry knew that the rest of his years at Hogwarts were tarnished, by one dream (that excited Harry so much that it was so unbearable, for anyone to watch.)  
  
Harry might have been the boy who lived after Lord Voldemort's attempt to murder him after his parent's. But Harry Potter is also the boy that got wet dreams over Severus Snape. 


	2. Draco's Day

Woke up today, got out of bed, slipped and fell straight onto my face, not very nice when Goyle leaves his dirty socks on the floor and you just happen to get a face full. Growled at him and called him a clumsy dumb fuk, wish he'd think enough to pick up after himself. Ran out of hair gel today.

Will have to write home for more, mother didn't pack me enough before the start of the new term stupid woman, father's right she's useless for most things.

Reached the great hall today, went over to the Slytherin table and found my seat filled with couple of first years. I got rid of them quick enough, yay, go me! Sat down in my seat for about fifteen minutes then decided I'd go and have some fun. I took Crabbe and Goyle with me and we went in search of Professor Dumbly-dork's favourite student Harry Potter.

Found Potter, sitting with his "friends" Weasley (father is a total loon, wouldn't even know that family's pure blood the way they get around, their dirty second hand robes, and the way they get around with muggles not to mention their podgy mother) and Granger, (filthy little mudblood she is, muggle parentage, only possesses a little gift, her brain too bloody big for her head, I bet if her skull wasn't there her brain would be leaking out of her ears) Potter told me to get lost, but I know he's scared of me I can SMELL it on him... bloody half blood. Muggle mother Wizard father, I'm so glad I'm pure blood so I don't have to shoulder the shame he does.

Got Weasley with the farting hex, he smelt worse than he usually does, I didn't even think that was possible. We had to clear out it was bad, you should of seen Weasley run, he had green gas following him. I ran as fast as I could out of that area of the train and back to my compartment, because of the stench that Weasley left that part of the train had to be cleared out. Yay me!

Weasley is now known as smelly ass, not that he wasn't already. Had to share a table with some fourth year Ravenclaw's, a few of them congratulated me on what I did to Weasley especially one girl, she kept on fluttering her eyelashes at me. I asked her if she had something caught in her eye. She just went scarlet and turned away... I smiled to myself YAY GO ME!!! She averted my eyes for the rest of the morning, she couldn't face me after that.... Hehehehe, I'm feeling better now.  
  
Went to class with that despicable Harry Potter hexed him so that when he sat down he made this horrible noise... I think it's what muggles call a whoopee coo shin or something like that... I got an "A" from Professor Snape for that one and Harry Potter got nothing but a detention... I'm so evil  
  
Draco Malfoy signing off


	3. Draco's Day

Woke up today, got out of bed, slipped and fell straight onto my face, not very nice when Goyle leaves his dirty socks on the floor and you just happen to get a face full. Growled at him and called him a clumsy dumb fuk, wish he'd think enough to pick up after himself. Ran out of hair gel today, will have to write home for more, mother didn't pack me enough before the start of the new term stupid woman, father's right she's useless for most things. Reached the great hall today, went over to the Slytherin table and found my seat filled with couple of first years. I got rid of them quick enough, yay, go me! Sat down in my seat for about fifteen minutes then decided I'd go and have some fun. I took Crabbe and Goyle with me and we went in search of Professor Dumbledork's favourite student Harry Potter. Found Potter, sitting with his "friends" Weasley (father is a total loon, wouldn't even know that family's pure blood the way they get around, their dirty second hand robes, and the way they get around with muggles not to mention their podgy mother) and Granger, (filthy little mudblood she is, muggle parentage, only possesses a little gift, her brain too bloody big for her head, I bet if her skull wasn't there her brain would be leaking out of her ears) Potter told me to get lost, but I know he's scared of me I can SMELL it on him... bloody half blood. Muggle mother Wizard father, I'm so glad I'm pure blood so I don't have to shoulder the shame he does. Got Weasley with the farting hex, he smelt worse than he usually does, I didn't even think that was possible. We had to clear out it was bad, you should of seen Weasley run, he had green gas following him. I ran as fast as I could out of that area of the train and back to my compartment, because of the stench that Weasley left that part of the train had to be cleared out. Yay me! Weasley is now known as smelly ass, not that he wasn't already. Had to share a table with some fourth year Ravenclaw's, a few of them congratulated me on what I did to Weasley especially one girl, she kept on fluttering her eyelashes at me. I asked her if she had something caught in her eye. She just went scarlet and turned away... I smiled to myself YAY GO ME!!! She averted my eyes for the rest of the morning, she couldn't face me after that.... Hehehehe, I'm feeling better now.  
  
Went to class with that despicable Harry Potter hexed him so that when he sat down he made this horrible noise... I think it's what muggles call a whoopee coo shin or something like that... I got an "A" from Professor Snape for that one and Harry Potter got nothing but a detention... I'm so evil  
  
Draco Malfoy signing off 


End file.
